Archive for February, 2011

Muhammad Apologizes for Self-Portrait

February 19, 2011

In response to the public outcry over the depicted image of Muhammad he painted of himself, Muhammad has formally apologized for his actions and promises to destroy the image he created.

“When I signed up for An Introduction to the Human Figure, I never imagined it would end in a global controversy,” explained Muhammad in a prepared statement.  “I deeply apologize for any offense, or undue stress, caused by my attempt at a self-portrait, and I pledge to be more conscious of my followers’ beliefs with all future works I do.”

Muhammed's Class Photo -update- Photo has been removed by request and photographer stoned.

Muhammad went on to pledge he would not only destroy his controversial self-portrait, once his teacher finishes grading the project and returns it to him, but he will also destroy the two lesser-known drawings he made of his left hand from previous class assignments.

Professor Jacques d’Arc, instructor of An Introduction to the Human Figure, has declined to make any specific comments at the request of Muhammad’s lawyers. Professor d’Arc has stated that doing a self portrait is not a requirement of his class, but an option that can be chosen by his students.  He also stated that later in the semester, during the section on sketching the human figure, he typically requires all students in rotation to pose for the other students in the class.  “Muhammad will not be asked to participate as a model.”

In regards to the actual painting, other than the few details that emerged early on, very little is known of it other than its existence.

“Muhammad kind of keeps to himself in class, and sits towards the corner, so I never got a good look at the picture itself,” explained fellow classmate Altan Khan.  “However, I do know it was black charcoal on off-white paper, and it was likely just from the shoulders up as that was the easiest of three assignments offered.  Almost all of us chose it.”

“Also,” added Cornelius Drebbel, who is another student in the class, “the eyes probably looked a little off.  Muhammad is not good with drawing eyes.”

Muhammad has stated that despite this controversy, he plans on finishing the course, and hopes to continue his studies in the spring.

“I don’t know if I have any true raw artistic talent or not, but I am not going to give up over just one poorly received piece,” declared Muhammad.  “I figure, if I can be even half as popular as an artist as I was a religious figure, I would still consider myself to be a ‘success.’”

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February 13, 2011